This week at work - Part II

How do you get Monday on Thursday?

I've been seriously considering adding an extra two (yes! two!) posts in today, since I have two things to go on about, and I think this is going to be a ridiculously long post if I don't split it up, cos it was also quite a full day without those. But, I can't. Cos - that's cheating. And I know that I have sometimes combined days (in the past; I don't do that no more), so this would just be making up for that, really. But I still can't. So you'll just have to live with it.
I'll do subheadings - there you go.

The Simpsons

Actually, I don't think either of these will be that long.

So, seriously (no pun intended), what's with ten playing new(er) Simpsons (which, frankly, are just crap(per)) in the old Simpsons timeslot? And, let me put all my cards on the table; cos I realise that this might be my fault. I distinctly recall saying (to myself) some time ago that they can't just keep repeating seasons 2-8 (est.) ad infinitum, with the new(er) seasons (there's like a further 8 or so, now) in the Tuesday, 8 timeslot (after the brand new one at 7:30). I mean, somethings gotta give.

But please, at least, give us some sort of break - throw a classic old one in there somewhere. Cos, although we've seen them a million times - these new ones, its hard to watch them even twice. Cos, seriously, most of them suck. There's like one or two laughs in there, if you're lucky. And those damn chalkboard and couch gags - ai-yah! Especially the couch ones. From about season 9 onwards, the formula which is followed each and every time - family comes in doing something strange that wouldn't normally be done in a living room, but each separate, and something bad or different happens to Homer.

I feel a traitor to my kind when I switch off the Simpsons to watch something else - but I did it today. To a DVD of Seinfeld, for goodness sake! I can't wait until the Simpsons movie comes out, so I can not go and watch that, too. I'm beginning to agree more and more with V, that nothing good was made after 1995, or so. Of anything.

The Story

I mentioned this yesterday, but I don't think I did myself justice on the monumental tweak (oxymoron city!) I did to fix my biggest flaw in chapter one. So I thought I'd do a before and after thingy.

Before
Joe King yells into the microphone.
"Hello, Super Mouse! Come in Super Mouse!"
A bored voice cackles through.
"Hello. Stop calling us when you've got nothing to report."
"But CQuaker said..."
"Ignore that. CQuaker apologises for saying it. Don’t report unless you’ve got something to report."
"FINE! BYE!"
Joe King slams down the microphone. Bill Splerk exclaims that it’s obvious that a small toaster costs less than a sofa. Joe King yells at Bill Splerk. The contestant, saying that the sofa is cheaper, wins a car. Bill Splerk swears and whacks Joe King across the ear. Joe King changes channel. Bill Splerk turns red with fury and swivels around with fists raised. Joe King jumps around, screaming murder.

After
Joe King calls excitedly into the microphone.
"Hello, Super Mouse! Come in Super Mouse!"
A bored voice cackles through.
"Hello. Stop calling us when you've got nothing to report."
"But CQuaker said..."
"Ignore that. CQuaker apologises for saying it. Don’t report unless you’ve got something to report."
"Um…righto then. Over and out."
Joe King slowly puts down the microphone. He then stares strangely out the side window, wondering if his whole life has been a lie. Bill Splerk exclaims that it’s obvious that a small toaster costs less than a sofa. Joe King says that toasters aren’t really the things that are important right now. Bill Splerk yells at Joe King. The contestant, saying that the sofa is cheaper, wins a car. Bill Splerk swears and whacks Joe King across the ear. Joe King changes channel. Bill Splerk turns red with fury and swivels around with fists raised. Joe King jumps around, screaming murder.

Yeah, actually it don't look that impressive. But believe me - it was a moral victory.
Joe - 1. Writer's Block - 0. At least, in this instance....

The...um...actual day

Got up at 6:07 - approximately. Actually managed to do some form of cardio thing for about 15 minutes, or so? Anyway.

Then, despite me taking what seemed to be way too long in the shower - cos I washed extra hard (as I felt sweaty) and cleaned my teeth extra hard (cos my breath was noticeably...dry) and shaved a long time (cos my face was wet, and it was three days already) - it was still like 7:05 by the time I was ready.
And then I should've had breakfast. Ai. I think I was trying to conserve milk. And then I'll just end up throwing part of it away, I know. Had some orange juice at least. And made lunch. Although it turned out to be pointless. But at least then it was only just before 7:30 when I got to work.

I warned you about the length of this....
...then again, what could you do?
Yah, boo! I win.

On Tuesday, when I left, I didn't have any work. And, for some reason, none had magically materialised. So I just stayed around making inane chatter with Mogli (for, like, something completely different) until 9, when circumstances (called legs) led me to go to the only existing partner (bar that other guy - no pun intended) to ask for work. So he gave me some of Mogli's stuff to do. Which he was saying he was going to give me anyway on Tuesday afternoon as like a joke! Ironic....

New Girl brought up the subject of a radio out the back, to drown out the noise of me and Mogli, she said. Seriously, if you knew me - 'talkative' would be at the bottom of your list of my characteristics, I'm sure.
Anyway, so WAB? came back and gave his usual non-committive type answer. He himself said - "I didn't say 'yay' or 'nay'". So, who knows, really? As it seems to be in the office - just do it!
And wait till someone fires you.
Or, more appropriately, doesn't give you a pay review.....

We're not even up to 10AM yet....

It was W&'s last day - much to the dismay of a great many people - and so we had to have morning tea. Unfortunately, due to the skeleton staff, whoever it is that normally organises these things was AWOL. Or something. Anyway, so the food didn't actually appear until 11:15. And it was overcatered, so I took it on myself to eat more than my share. I mean, you suffer, but its for a good cause...

Then the coffee guy showed up about 12, as is his want, but due to something - either the recent food or the accompanying tea to that food (or the fact that his coffee is......), I didn't say nothing. And then, 20 minutes later, I say to Mogli that I kinda wanted a coffee. And he says he does to. So we arrange to go down to West Perth and have coffee at lunch, since we're not hungry due to the late morning tea and the overcatering. So I went to the bathroom to have a sleep and forget about it.

And then he tells me that he's invited the whole rest of the firm, as is his want. Which I was expecting, anyway. And New Girl continued with her left field throws by not coming, although all the other back people, plus WAB? (so that's all the accountants below partners) went along.

So we (inc. W&, of cos, and his GF - hehe!) ended up at Coast Cafe, one of many almost exactly like it. I got a Vienna (although I forgot to say white, and they didn't ask, so it was black - which actually wasn't that bad, although it probably should've been) and this bigass chocolate muffin - which they didn't heat up. And, although they provided a knife, they didn't provide butter. Confusing. Mogli got a skinny latte, and said that he reckoned it was a normal one watered down. Also had fries - which were $6 for a tiny little bowl. But Mogli seemed to be happy enough paying for it....
And so, most of the conversation was how bad the firm was, but in a positive way, like its just gonna get better. Cos, see, this is what the conversation must be like when you invite everyone else along. Like those Big Brother people say - you can't just be yourself. Ugh.....

The afternoon was a lot like most other afternoons - us sitting around trying to stay awake. I ran out of work again at 3:42, but something else appeared - or, more precisely, was violently dumped on my desk by the receptionist who has no time for Mogli since Tuesday (and thus me by association, I guess). And that kept me going to just before 5:30, when I left. Still, lucky I've got an appointment with Mogli's dad tomorrow, cos it won't last me much longer.

New Girl kept throwing those left field passes, by telling W& he should stop working, cos that's what she did after lunchtime on her last day when she left her old place. Even though she's like the most workaholic person I've ever seen in my life...

Home, and I was expecting an hour of Big Brother, followed straight away by My Name is Earl, followed straight away by SVU. Well, Big Brother was half an hour, My Name is Earl was replaced (for reasons obscure....) by Air Crash Investigations, and SVU was replaced by the two hour finale of The Biggest Loser. So there was really nothing to watch.

The Simpsons at 6, as noted, was an episode I'd seen before, and once was enough, thank you very much. So I watched Seinfeld. Which was great, really.
It was so great, I actually missed the time and missed half of the Big Brother daily show. But it wasn't that good - just people being bitches, really. And I get enough of that at the office! Where, incidentally, we have our own Big Brother.... only he's away at the moment.

So I started writing this blog at 9 and finished at 10:15. Well, I didn't start at 9. But, I could've said that, and you probably would've believed me.

I did truly finish at 10:15. And then slept.